I was browsing through my favourite pinterest page just now and this quote caught my attention.These lines instantly took me back into my childhood. Well, with a strong guilt, i am admitting today that yes i was highly self conscious of my looks, my height, my weight, my hair and almost anything & everything related to ‘me’. But all of us have those teenage years where we are struggling within ourselves.
As far as i am concerned, i was struggling a lot and had enough reasons to do so. I was fat. I was short and ugly. Well! i am not sure about the last one though. My pics tell me I was cute..;) On a serious note, now when i reflect back, i really think that i lost some of those precious years hating myself which would have been a lot more fun and lively if i would have been at peace with myself. I’ve always been a very private person from the very beginning. I think ‘shy’ would be the most perfect word that can be used to describe me. At school, i was exposed to a high peer pressure, extensive group dynamics and fierce competition that really tested me and molded me as a person.
I have read ample psychological studies & stories that profoundly explains the life stages under which a person struggles and questions on his self- perception and is conscious about his/her image all the time but yes there are various other social-emotional factors that act as a precursor in doing so. In my case, i would say parting away with my best friend ‘M’ was the sole reason for my consistent self- hating period. ‘M’ as i would call her in all my future posts was my best friend since i was 2 years old. We grew up together and had fun times in the evening playing with all the kids in the lane. One fine day her family moved to some other locality which was far from my place and that was it. My sole motivator, my best friend, my confidant left me and so does my self-appreciating quality. I really think that its important that family should understand these unnoticed changes in their kids life which really make a difference on their heart and plays a key role in shaping their personality. Yes! i was at war with myself and was constantly asking myself that why did this happened to me? Time healed everything as i grew up but the horrible phase that i had really snatched some of the best moments of my life. I could back my previous statement with a fact that I used to miss my school trips, ignore my classmates for an evening snack party, avoid participating in extra curricular activities. Hmm… i feel bad now for not enjoying my time at school. But gradually, i met new people in college who were fun loving & literally opened my eyes to how beautiful this life is and how important it is to appreciate things about yourself and the world around you.
I think we are really privileged as we’ve been gifted this beautiful life by god. But there are only a few who appreciate the same. We constantly crib about how bad our lives are, how difficult our situations is and how much pain we are experiencing but we tend to neglect the joys that god has given us in the form of our family, friends, siblings. Looking pretty, gaining or loosing weight, wearing branded stuff and owning a SUV have become so important these days that we have forgot to appreciate the little things of life and most of all appreciating self for being a person you are. Isn’t it amazing that god created ‘YOU’! You are the only masterpiece, the exclusive one. Of course, until and unless you have a twin brother or a sister..;)
But yes! learn to appreciate yourself and love yourself. I’ve heard people who say that there is a hidden world inside a person which is totally different from the outside world you are living it and i think we should try to flourish the innocence and liveliness of that inside world by relishing being the person you are so that our outside world can also be a calm beautiful and serene place to exist.